June 14th 2006

Bush visits Iraq
President Bush made his second visit to Baghdad since the 2003 invasion. The arrival was kept as a secret for most of the press and even for the new Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. According to press secretary Tony Snow, Bush learned how to sneak in without being noticed from experts like the White House gardeners and cooks.

President Bush stayed only for 5 hours during his second visit to Baghdad. Apparently to prove how much Iraqis love him, he was invited to overnight in one the famous SAFE Iraqi houses, like Al-Zarqawi's, but Bush declined.

Republicans praised Bush’s visit to Baghdad and called it a "high five" moment for the president. Sadly for Bush, Iraqis can’t call it that way because most of their arms were blown off by the insurgency.

Talking about Iraq, according to a survey, 65 percent of the American youth cannot locate Iraq in a map. If we keep dropping 500lbs bombs neither will be the other 35 percent.

Katrina Fraud
The government doled out as much as $1.4 billion in fraudulent assistance to victims of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. According to Federal Investigators, one man used FEMA assistance money to buy "Girls Gone Wild Videos." When asked about this, he said he just wanted to remember how New Orleans used to be before Katrina.

Federal investigators informed Congress that one man apparently used FEMA assistance money for a sex change operation. Well, if you are going to get screwed by FEMA, at least you are entitled to enjoy it all the way.

Federal investigators also informed Congress that a person spent 70 days at a Hawaiian hotel on taxpayer help. So when a poor person that lost everything to a Hurricane and received late assistant by a federal agency spent taxpayer money on his own vacation it is a crime, but when a congressman does it , it is for the well being of the country.

Alberto
According to experts, Alberto wasn’t as big of a threat as some people in Florida expected. Apparently Alberto had papers and was legal.

Darryl Hannah
Actress Darryl Hannah was taken down from a tree where she was protesting and was arrested on trespassing charges. What is going on with celebrities lately? First Keith Richards climbing the coconut tree, now Hannah climbing a walnut tree, can’t celebrities buy fruit in a supermarket like everybody else?