January 3rd 2007

Well these are my first jokes of the year, I am kind of rusty, I hope you enjoy them and Happy New Year to everybody that reads this blog. Thanks
Pedro

Kate Moss
British tabloids reported that Kate Moss married her rock singer boyfriend Pete Doherty at a Thai resort. According to the tabloids, for the ceremony, Kate wore white....... on her nose.

Oprah
Oprah opened a school for disadvantaged girls in Africa Tuesday. The school, among other facilities, includes a beauty salon which apparently will help students look better, thus increasing their chances of getting adopted by rich Americans.

CNN Mistake
CNN apologized for confusing Barack Obama with Osama Bin Laden during a Monday Night broadcast. Some right wing radio hosts also apologized for making the same mistake, but couldn’t find Osama to let him know how sorry they felt for mistaking him with the Senator.

New Law
According to a new law recently passed in California, it's now illegal to let someone ride in the trunk of your car in California. Unfortunately illegals will now be forced to run behind your truck when you hire them at a Home Depot.

Safe Cars
Toyota Motor Corp. is developing a fail-safe system for cars that detect drunken drivers and automatically shuts the vehicle down if sensors pick up signs of excessive alcohol consumption, making Ford the most popular car in congress.

Bush
President Bush was chosen the top villain and the top hero in the world in the same poll. As the top hero, Bush invited everybody that voted for him to personally thank them, but as the top villain he asked the IRS to audit all of them.

50 Cents
3 "hip-hop novellas" published by 50 Cent’s "G-Unit Books" will hit the shelves tomorrow. The G-Unit books are officially being launched with a drive by shooting at the Borders at Columbus Circle in New York City.

Britney
While hosting a New Year's Eve party in Las Vegas, Britney Spears reportedly fell asleep shortly after midnight. Rumors are she was listening to her former husband’s cd.

Britney Spears' people are denying reports that she passed out in a Vegas club on New Year's Eve and was dragged out by her bodyguards. Actually the ones that dragged her out and drove her home where her two kids.
Electricity
Parts of Kansas are still without electricity as a result of a powerful snowstorm. It doesn’t say much of a country when your New Year resolution is to have electricity.

Dogs
The Ritz-Carlton hotel in Sarasota, Florida, has started offering $130 massages for dogs. The main problem for male dogs is that their waving tails tell their wives if they received a happy ending.

Saddam
Sunnis Muslims were extremely angered by the execution of Saddam Hussein and the way his hanging was carried out, not so much for the teasing and celebration after Saddam’s death but because they wanted Dick Clark to do the countdown.

2007
According to an AP-AOL poll, 72% of Americans feel good about what 2007 will bring for the U.S. The number will decrease dramatically as soon as congress resumes its new season.