December 11th 2006

Congress
A group of congressmen is concerned with the idea of extending the Congressional work week to five days because they won’t have time to see their families. Apparently two days off is only enough time to visit their mistresses.

A new report indicates the U.S. has the world's largest prison population. Coincidentally the U.S. has one of the most corrupt congress.

Federal prosecutors say a Vancouver man has faked retardation for the past decade. Just the opposite of what congressmen have been doing in congress in the last decade.

Bush
During his weekly radio address, President Bush spoke about parts of the Iraq Study Group report that agree with his policies, but he ignored the sections that criticize his administration's handling of the war. Apparently they had to fill most of the radio address with music.

During his weekly radio address president Bush spoke about the Iraq study group. He said he will talk more in details about the entire report as soon as they released it on tape.

Nicole Richie
Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said. She blew 0.15 on the breathalyzer test and on the scale.

Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said. Police was only able to take frontal mug shots pictures because every time she would turn sideways, it was hard to find her.

Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said. Apparently they used one handcuffed to tie both her arms around her hips.

Britney
After a flurry of criticism, Britney Spears acknowledged that her pantyless escapade were not a good idea. She is thinking of firing the publicist that came up with the idea of showing her privates just when Bush has the lowest ratings ever.

A New Jersey company has come up with the first chewable birth control pill. Some blondes are concern that they won’t be able to chew and do it at the same time.

In other news
According to Forbes magazine the Long Iceland Iced tea is the most fattening drink and it has 780 calories. Ironically four Long Iceland Iced teas have 0 calories because you end up puking.