November 27th 2006

Iran
Russia announced the sale of seven hundred million dollars in anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. The missiles were delivered Friday but Iranians will have to wait more than a month because they only paid for standard shipping.

Michael Richards
Continuing a series of public apologies, Michael Richards used a Sunday appearance on the Rev. Jesse Jackson's radio program to say he does not consider himself a racist. He promised next time to apologize in a show that is actually listened to by black people.

Dead Groom
Police fired 50 rounds Saturday at a car of unarmed men leaving a bachelor party at a strip club, killing the groom on his wedding day. After the outcry from family members, the cops played it down by saying that if they didn’t kill the groom, his wife-to-be would have done it anyways when she found out he was at a strip club.

A black 23-year-old bridegroom was shot and killed on his wedding day outside a New York strip club on Saturday after police opened fire on him and his friends. In other news, Michael Richards had a new call to serve the community as a cop.

Pinochet
Gen. Augusto Pinochet took full responsibility for the first time Saturday for the actions of his 1973-90 dictatorship, which carried out thousands of political killings, torture and illegal imprisonment. He is planning to apologize on the David Letterman show.

Gen. Augusto Pinochet took full responsibility for the first time Saturday for the actions of his 1973-90 dictatorship, which carried out thousands of political killings, torture and illegal imprisonment. Donald Rumsfeld took full responsibility for eating too much turkey on thanksgiving.

Dick Cheney
Dick Cheney flew to Saudi Arabia Wednesday for talks with King Abdullah and the Saudi princes in the royal palace in Riyadh. It is an old tradition of his to spend thanksgiving with those he loves.