November 20th 2006

Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married over the weekend in Italy. Immediately after the wedding Tom and Katie went on their honeymoon and according to Katie, Tom’s performance was not "Top Gun" but rather "Mission Impossible."

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married over the weekend in Italy. The Italian version of Art Bell is going to have material for the next 2 years on his show with all the UFO sightings.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married over the weekend in Italy. They wrapped up the ceremony with a very long kiss that finished when Tom was done sucking Katie’s soul out of her body.

Playstation 3
Kentucky police ran down a rape suspect who tried to blend into one of the lines at Best Buy waiting to get a Playstation 3. The cops asked if anybody in the line had ever had sex with a woman and the criminal was the only one that raised his hand.

Meteorologist
A TV meteorologist was fired because his nude photo was posted on the Internet. I just hope is not Al Rocker.

Bureaucracy
The Agriculture Department has replaced the word "hunger" with the term "low food security". Apparently they also changed the term "fat kid" with the term "Low Vending Machine Security."

Penny
Arizona congressman Jim Kolbe has proposed getting rid of the penny, saying it is obsolete. Apparently lobbyists don’t take change anymore.

Bush
President Bush was welcomed in Indonesia by thousands of protesters. For a moment the president felt he was back in the campaign trail for the midterm elections

In Vietnam, the Air Force One suffered a mechanical problem, forcing President Bush to shift to a smaller backup jet as he continues his Asian trip. With his popularity in the low 30’s the only Airline that accepted the president was Southwest.

OJ
Fox network and a book publishing company paid OJ Simpson around $3 million dollars to air a special interview where he describes how he would have carried out the crime of his wife. All the other networks were outraged because $3 million dollars sound like a bargain.