November 13th 2006

Crime Free
The Residents of Colonsay , an almost crime-free island, were shocked this weekend by the first robbery in the last 2 years . Apparently the island was the chosen tourist destination of some Americans candidates that lost in the midterm elections.

A woman in Brazil was released from the hospital a day after she was shot in the head six times by her ex-husband. During a press conference the husband claimed he did not shoot her, just peppered her.

Elections
Last Tuesday Democrats won the majority in Congress and the Senate. The elections seemed like an episode of Oprah for the Democrats "You got a seat, you got a seat, you got a seat"

Angry Republicans say the party might have fared better on Election Day if President Bush had not waited after the elections to force Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to resign. They believe the right time would have been the day after Collin Powel left that position.

Britney
According to the tabloids, Britney Spears caught K-Fed with another woman. Apparently Britney became suspicious there was someone else the day Kevin had money to buy his own pack of camels.

Shakira
President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, helped Latin Singer Shakira find a venue to perform in Caracas to dazzle 10 000 fans with her hip shaking dances.Rush Limbaugh immediately complained about it and claimed that the singer shakes her hips so much because she is probably out of her medication.

Wax
The head of president Bush’s wax likeness was vandalized in the Madame Tussaud museum of wax. Reporters believe Dick Cheney was confused and took hunting the wrong Bush.

The head of president Bush’s wax figure was vandalized in the Madame Tussaud museum of wax. Fortunately it won't cost much to fix it as they don't need much wax to fill Bush's head.