November 1st 2006

Botched Joke
After John Kerry’s botched joke caused a tremendous stir in the last 48 hours, the senator admitted he is pulling back from campaigning ahead of next week's midterm elections. Most of the Republican candidates cheaped in and sent president Bush a book of 1 liners to see if the president botches some jokes too .

Abstinence
The federal government is now targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs. They started distributing fliers at the Star Wars Conventions.

McDonalds
A man is suing a McDonald's restaurant, claiming his wife found a small dead rat in a salad. In McDonalds they always deceive you: For the pictures in the menu they use huge New York rats and what you get in your food is always a small mouse.

Sleep
According to a new survey by Select Comfort, the mattress company, 92% of Americans say they're not losing sleep over the upcoming elections. The other 8% are Republican candidates.

Bob Barker
Bob Barker announces he will retire next June after 50 years on television..
Dogs all over the States are celebrating this decision because now they have more chances to keep their jewels intact.

82-year-old Bob Barker announced yesterday that he's retiring from "The Price Is Right" after 35 years as host. Ana Nicole Smith said that the "Time is right" now to date him

Halloween Parade
Greenwich Village had its annual Halloween parade Tuesday in which thousands of costumed transvestites marched along Sixth Avenue. Apparently the massive event turned even more people against "Transfats."

Divorce
The study, from Iowa State University reveals that divorced women have more illnesses. But probably a lot more money than divorced men to treat them.

Tora Bora
Tora Bora hills, Osama Bin Laden's secret caves hideout, are being converted into a luxurious tourist resort. Some people believe it’ll be the Democratic headquarters for the 2008 presidential elections.

Tora Bora hills, Osama Bin Laden's secret caves hideout, are being converted into a luxurious tourist resort. Apparently the hotel is going to show the uncensored Bin laden videos on Pay Per View.