November 22nd 2006

Twins
One of President Bush's 24-year-old twin daughters had her purse stolen during a visit to Argentina. As a request by President Bush, the secret service launched a quest to find the thief immediately and either hire him to work for the Bush administration or make him an honorary US congressman.

Turkeys
In an annual ritual dating back to Abraham Lincoln's time, President Bush will "pardon" two turkeys this Wednesday, a Tom and Michael Richards.

Heart Attacks
According to a joint study by the University of Sydney and Harvard University there are about 1.5 million heart attacks in the U.S. every year, most of them Dick Cheney’s.

Michael Richards
After Michael Richards’ apology during the David Letterman show, the tonight show with David Letterman beat Jay Leno in the ratings. Producers are willing to repeat the formula and tonight they promise a gut-wrenching apology from the National Thanksgiving Turkey.

Radio shows debated all day yesterday whether actor Michael Richards should ever be forgiven for a racial tirade he had onstage during his comedy act. I am in favor of giving him a second chance, come on, it is not like he said he would have voted for segregationist Strom Thurmond.

Praying
Six Muslim imams were removed from a US Airways flight at Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport for praying on the terminal before boarding their flight. According to frequent fliers it is not such an uncommon practice to pray before boarding, especially when you spot your pilot chugging beers at the bar of the airport.

Out-of-wedlock
Out-of-wedlock births in the United States have climbed to an all-time high, accounting for nearly four in 10 babies born last year. According to government health officials the number could double this year now the K-Fed is single again.