January 4th 2007

Mad Cow
National Guard troops will resume hay drops today in Colorado to try to save hundreds of stranded cows from starvation. Ironically they are saving the cows to send them later to a Beef plant to be slaughtered.

National Guard troops will resume hay drops today in Colorado to try to save hundreds of stranded cows from starvation. While at it, they are also going to drop some food at Nicole Ritchie’s house.

Wise man
During a press conference, Balthazar, the only black of the three wise men, made clear that he is not going to visit the US until Michael Richards sincerely apologizes.

Pat Robertson
Pat Robertson says God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007. I don’t know you but I am going to pay close attention to see where Pat sells his properties.

Movies
According to studio estimates compiled on Sunday the movie "Night at the Museum" has been seen approximately by 12 million Americans making the movie the number 1 hit of 2007. Coincidentally 12 is the number of Americans that ever visited a real museum.

Eddie Murphy could be nominated for an Oscar for his performance in the movie Dream Girls. And we all know what a girl has to have to be Eddie’s dream girl.

Bush
In a controversial decision, President Bush is thinking of sending 40,000 more troops to end the war on Christmas.

Congress
Democrats in both chambers are promising sweeping changes to ethics and lobbying laws. According to some rumors Democrats want meals paid by lobbyist to not exceed the amount of $50 dollars, making Dennis Hastert reconsider his future as a legislator.