July 18th 2006

Bush and Blair
During the G8 summit, a live microphone caught President Bush dropping an S- bomb while talking to Tony Blair. This is the first time though that Fox News didn’t run 24 hours reports on a bomb dropped by President Bush.

The violence in the Middle East is getting more and more intense and spreading fast to some parts of Europe. You could even hear the bombs coming from Bush’s table at the G8 summit

In a chat with Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 summit, President Bush was unaware a microphone was on and was caught using colorful language. It has been decided that from now onwards and to avoid future fines all of Bush’s lunches will be broadcast only in Satellite radio.

Stem Cell Research
The Senate is working on a bill to expand federal funding of embryonic stem cell research. This makes sense because most of the senators have no spines and might need to replace their livers.

Vote and win
The state of Arizona is working on a plan to turn elections into lotteries by randomly selecting one voter per election to receive $1 million. The offer is so tempting even dead people might vote.

Adolph Hitler
A signed photograph of Adolph Hitler was found hidden in an Art Gallery and Museum in Scotland during a recent refurbishment. Nazi’s fans are already bidding money for the picture which value is estimated at half the price of any autographed photograph of Ann Coulter.

Discovery
After the safe landing of the shuttle Discovery, more and more people agreed the shuttle looks old and it is time for NASA to retire it. NASA officials claim their budget won’t allow them to do that yet, but they are thinking of taking the Discovery to MTV to see if at least they can get it pimped up.

The shuttle Discovery and its crew of six had a very long and difficult landing yesterday, no technical problem was reported though, but apparently it was hard to convince the astronauts to want to return to earth after they saw everything that’s going on here from outer space.

Lieberman
According to journalists, this has been one of the most violent, bloodiest, salvages wars they have ever witnessed.... Well enough about Lieberman and the Democratic elections in Connecticut.

Senator Joseph Lieberman said that if he looses the primary elections in the Democratic Party, he is considering CUTTING ties with the Democrats and RUNNING as an independent. Is that the famous CUT and RUN that Republicans talk so much about?

Most parts of the States are is being hit with a scorching heat wave:
It is so hot out there that people are traveling to the Middle East only to catch the breeze of the rockets.
It is so hot out there that people are hanging out with Jennifer Lopez only to get some shade from her booty.
It is so hot out there that even Kevin Fetherline is sweating.
It is so hot out there that Bill would rather stay home with Hillary.
It is so hot out there that Michael Jackson’s Jesus juice is made of Margaritas now.