July 19th 2006

Evacuation from the Lebanon
Americans who boarded a luxury ship to be evacuated from the Lebanon were asked to sign promissory notes to repay on their arrival. The notes were distributed by crew members with elegant uniforms with the Hallibuton logo.

The State Department said it had dropped a plan to make American evacuees reimburse the government for the trip. The cruise ship will not head to Cyprus though, but Iraq instead, where they will be given ammunition and asked to stay there for a long while.

Blair’s Bush’s poodle
The British media is quite disappointed with Tony Blair's performance during the G8 summit and is saying that Blair behaves like Bush's poodle. During the summit Bush denied those allegations and then patted Blair on the head for bringing him the New York Times all chewed up and torn.

The British media is saying that Tony Blair behaves like he was Bush’s poodles. The Bush administration denied those comments and claimed that actually Blair is the one the usually scoops up Bush’s doo-doo.

Massage to Chancellor
Democrats are raving about a video where you can see Bush giving Germany's chancellor a massage during the G8 Summit. They claim that in any American workplace that would be considered sexual harassment. Republicans alleged that Bush doesn’t know what sexual harassment is because he has never had a job.

Photos of Bush giving Germany's chancellor, Angela Merkel, a massage during the G8 Summit has been circulating over the internet. Experts analyzed the pictures to see if they were fake and arrived to the conclusion that the name on the Viagra container Rush Limbaugh had was Bush’s.

Democrats accused Bush of misrepresenting the country for his behavior during the G8 summit, particularly for the use of foul language and groping of the German Chancellor. Bush attempted a defense but made it even worse by saying that the Chancellor was the pig he said he couldn’t wait to put his hands on during a press conference

Former president Bill Clinton gave a press conference where he congratulated Bush for his actions during the G8 Summit, specially the use of colorful language and the groping of the German Chancellor.

New York Times
The Right wing media sees a conspiracy in the reduction of the New York Times’ pages which will narrow their width to 12 inches. They claim the paper is doing this on purpose so it won’t be big enough to wipe their asses with.

Heat Wave
It is so hot out there Bush was talking and dropping s.... bombs with the mouth full of ice cream.
It is so hot out there that Americans go to the border with Mexico to get the breeze from illegals crossing.
It is so hot out there that Oprah Winfrey and her friend Gayle are not walking hand in hand.