July 20th 2006

NAACP
After declining invitations for five years in a row President Bush delivered his first address to the annual NAACP convention. When he was leaving the convention he was asked about the situation in the Middle East and he responded that we should get Syria to get Hizbollah to stop doing "Da Shiznit"
Stem Cell
President Bush cast his first veto to block legislation to expand embryonic stem cell research. According to the president there’s no need for further research because we already found a new Superman.

Democrats plan to fund ads on the issue of stem cell research to be used as part of their campaign for the midterm elections. The ads show that Democrats, unlike President Bush, support science and as an example the ads claim Clinton has had as many mistresses as Albert Einstein.

President Bush vetoed the funding for the embryonic stem cell research because the bill would support the taking of innocent human lives. He added that he’d rather use that money to fund the war in Iraq.

During the meeting in which Bush vetoed the funding of stem cell research, Bush was surrounded by several Snowflake babies. He made it clear it wasn't just for the photo he invited the Snowflake babies but because it was really hot inside the White House.

Massage to Germany's Chancellor
Scientists are really frustrated by this veto because they claim that the research of embryonic stem cells could bring cures for a range of chronic ailments, from Parkinson's disease to paralysis. Bush responded that there’s nothing a good massage cannot cure.

Everybody is still talking about the photos of Bush giving Germany's chancellor a massage during the G8 Summit. When Tony Snow was asked about it, he said this is part of the new Bush’s strategy for the tension in the Middle East: "Make love, no war."

Middle East
A great number of people in the media, as well as in the political arena, see the war in the Middle East as the beginning of the World War III. Just in case France surrendered.

Yahoo
Yesterday, Yahoo's stock price plunged by nearly 22 percent. The company has come up with a strategy to pump up its ratings and has declared war to Iran.

Yesterday, Yahoo's stock price plunged by nearly 22 percent. Now when you use its searcher and type the phrase "plunging faster than Paris Hilton’s underwear" you don’t get porn, you get the Yahoo company address.