July 21st 2006

NAACP
After declining invitations for five years in a row, President Bush delivered his first address to the annual NAACP convention. When he was leaving the convention he was asked about the situation in the Middle East and he responded that we should get Syria to get Hizbollah to stop doing "Da Shiznit"

During Bush’s speech at the NAACP convention, the president said that he once stood at the balcony that is so significant for African Americans. Unfortunately he was not referring to the balcony at the Lorraine Motel where Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered but the balcony where Michael Jackson dangled his baby.

Bush denied that he went to the NAACP convention to make up for the fact that FEMA had a late response with the black community during the Katrina disaster. Unfortunately Bush also arrived late to the convention.

Security was extremely tight at the NAACP convention. A metal detector was set up at the door and according to security hundred of firearms were confiscated and those were only from Dick Chenney.

Stem Cell
The liberal media blasted President Bush because they considered that Bush invited the Snowflake babies to the veto of the stem cell research bill to look good on the photos and to present only one side of the story of the embryos’ use. Bush claimed he also invited paraplegics to represent the other side, but they didn’t arrive in time.

During the meeting in which Bush vetoed the funding of stem cell research, Bush was surrounded by several Snowflake babies. He made it clear it wasn't just for the photo he invited the Snowflake babies, but rather because it was really hot inside the White House.

Minuteman
A growing number of volunteers for Minuteman Civil Defense Corps are questioning the whereabouts of hundreds of thousands of dollars that where donated to the group. According to the Minuteman president they had to use all the money because it cost them a fortune to hire Americans who want to mow their lawn and cook for them.

Drivers on the Phone
According to a study 86% of people in California drive their cars while talking on the cell phone. The study determined that they use the phone to brag with their friends that they can afford the gas to drive their cars.

Dakota Fanning
Young actress Dakota Fanning is starring in a movie about a young girl who is abused. The movie contained scenes that show her only in underpants. The release of the movie is unknown yet but Gary Glitter is already lining up outside a theater nearby.