January 10th 2007

New Technology
Steve Jobs has unveiled Apple’s new iPhone, a mobile phone that plays iTunes, surfs the web and is capable of storing about 3 or 4 leader executions.

Steve Jobs has unveiled Apple’s new iPhone, a mobile phone that plays iTunes, surfs the web, plays music and videos. Shiites gave the phone 2 ropes up.

50 Cent
50 Cent is releasing his own line of condoms. If the condoms have as many holes as he does, I don’t think they are that safe.

Malibu Fire
Suzanne Somers' multimillion-dollar seaside Malibu home was destroyed by fire on Monday. She’s never lied; those Thigh masters really burn calories and more.

More Executions
Iraqi officials are preparing everything for the execution of two of Saddam Hussein's co-defendants. They want to keep a low profile this time, so they hired K-fed to do the dancing around the corpses.

Democrats
Democratic leaders said Tuesday that they intended to hold symbolic votes in the House and Senate on President Bush's plan to send more troops to Baghdad. If Democrats have symbolic votes, shouldn’t we pay them with symbolic money??

Worst Dressed
New best buddies Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have shared the number 1 spot on Mr. Blackwell's 47th annual "Worst Dressed Women” List. Apparently, they didn’t know fur was IN again in 2006.