January 11th 2007

Bush
In a prime-time address to the nation president Bush ordered an increase of U.S. troops by 21,500 to quell the country's near-anarchy. The number of troops to be deployed was originally 40,000 but generals suggested to leave some soldiers in the US in case the O’Donell-Trump war gets out of control.

During last night speech to the nation, President Bush spoke for 20 minutes from the White House library to lay out his plan for a new way forward in Iraq. According to experts, the president looked more nervous than usual, not so much for the content of the speech but rather because he had never been to the White House library before.

Hours before last night’s presidential speech, the media was hinted that the president was going to admit some errors on his strategy in Iraq before announcing a troop increase. When TV networks heard about Bush’s admittance of mistakes, they cleared their TV schedule for several days to give the president enough time.

Pelosi
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced yesterday she is banning the right to smoke near the floor of the House in congress. Some congressmen were really shocked, what are they going to do now after having sex with pages?

Homeless
According to the Department of Housing and Urban Development the number of homeless is approximately 744,000, most of them Republican congressmen that lost their seat in the last elections.

Cheney
According to Yahoo News, the house of Dracula in Transylvania is up for sale. Apparently Dick Cheney has already made an offer.

Mothers
Two mothers and their 13-year-old daughters were arrested after police say one woman drove her already suspended daughter to school to fight a teenage rival. What kind of mother is she? Let your 13-year-old daughter solve her own problems; let her drive the car herself!