January 24th 2007

Spanking
A proposed law in California would outlaw spanking children under the age of 3. Fortunately for us, the proposed age limit will let us spank the Bush administration whenever we want.

Salary
Leftist Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega, who took power earlier this month, said Monday that he was slashing his salary and those of Cabinet members. He changed just a bit the policy of other Nicaraguan leaders in the past that used to slash just the cabinet members.

Hillary
Hillary Clinton has thrown her hat into the ring, what gave her more chances to win than if she had thrown her bra.

Hillary Clinton has thrown her hat into the ring. Political advisers begged her to throw the old pants she wears, but to the garbage can.

Nerd
A Pennsylvania man has memorized pi to 12,887 digits. According to experts he has an advantage over other men; he never had to store in her mind any woman’s phone number.

A Pennsylvania man has memorized pi to 12,887 digits. Fortunately, thanks to recent radio contest, we know now what happens to those who don’t remember to pi.

Katsav Indictment
Israel's attorney general plans to indict the country's president, Moshe Katsav, on charges of rape and other sexual offenses. Me me me! screamed Mel Gibson to be chosen a member of the jury.

If things get worse for Moshe Katsav, he can always follow the new American tradition and go to rehab.

State of the Union
President Bush delivered the State of the Union address Tuesday night. The Oxford dictionary requested a rebuttal.

Al Gore
“An Inconvenient Truth,” Al Gore's film on the perils of global warming, scored two Oscar nominations Tuesday for best documentary feature and best original song. I just hope Al Gore is right with this weather thing and a big storm screws my satellite when he gets on stage to do the long "thank you" speech.