January 17th 2007

Panda Diet
Zoo officials in Thailand have placed Chuang Chuang, the Panda, on a strict diet because they say he is too heavy to have sex. It was either the diet or teaching the panda how to drive a Porsche.

K-Fed
Kevin Federline is rumored to participate in a commercial for the Super Bowl. That is a commercial truck, loading and unloading food for the Super Bowl game.

Naomi Campbell
Naomi Campbell must attend anger management classes, pay a small fine and perform a week of community service in exchange for pleading guilty to hitting her maid with a cell phone. The judge delivered the sentence wearing protective gear and barricaded behind a glass wall.

Barack Obama
Sen. Barack Obama launched a historic campaign Tuesday to become the first black president of the United States. Some journalists are quite concerned, they fear that if they say Obama is running for president some people are going to accuse them of stereotyping African Americans.

Golden Globe Awards
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger closed the Golden Globe Awards ceremony presenting the award for Best Motion Picture Drama. Unfortunately most of the after parties were cancelled because it took until the next day to understand what movie Arnold had mentioned.

2 jobs
In Kirkwood, Missouri, a 41-year-old part-time funeral home and pizza delivery worker has been arrested for kidnapping two teenage boys. People in Kirkwood said that they always suspected there was something weird with this guy, especially because every time he delivered a body in more than 30 minutes, he would not charge you.