September 28th 2007

Baby Bond
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said Friday that every child born in the United States should get a $5,000 "baby bond" from the government to help pay for future costs of college or buying a home. After those comments the NBA players union has decided to endorse Hillary for president in 2008.

Childrens
President George W. Bush told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: "Childrens do learn." Apparently, adulteses doesn’t.

While speaking in front of a group of school children, President Bush said that "childrens do learn." After that comment, two kids elbowed each other and said, "yeap, your daddy was right."

Government data showed Thursday that the number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless aid unexpectedly fell 15,000 last week to its lowest in four months. Apparently, there was a sudden increase in the demand for official White House transcript correctors.

Big Baby
A Siberian woman gave birth to a 17.1 lb. Baby. The doctor who delivered the baby had a couple of broken ribs and other minor injuries after he got beat up by the new born when he tried to give him the usual little slap to make him cry.

Hillary
During the last presidential debate, Sen. Hillary Clinton said she was going to have to talk to her husband. She had stated that there was no exemption for torture and debate moderator Tim Russert said her husband had said the opposite in the past. When Hillary got home later and found Bill reading adult magazines she changed her mind about torture.

Swastika
A U.S. Navy barracks in Southern California that resemble a swastika from the air is to get a $600,000 make-over. Apparently nobody noticed it until the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad smiled and posed next to the building and took pictures to send to his family and friends in Iran.

Minorities
President Bush told the GOP presidential candidates to reach out to the African American community because they could be digging themselves a deep hole with minority voters. Some the of the presidential candidates acknowledged that and said that to reach the minorities they are going to hire Mexicans to dig that hole for them.