September 24th 2007

Bush
President Bush told author Bill Sammon that Hillary Clinton is going to win the nomatination in the Democratic party. Unfortunately for Hillary the president also said we will leave Iraq in 3 months and the Miami Dolphins are set to win the Superbowl.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad landed in New York Monday to be part of the U.N. General Assembly. It was quite embarrassing thought when at the airport some people handed him their bags, and asked him to take them to Time Square.

Snipers
According to military court documents U.S. military snipers in Iraq are scattering pieces of "bait," such as detonation cords, plastic explosives and ammunition, and then kill the Iraqis who pick up the items. Apparently so far snipers have killed 28 garbage men and a bunch of electricians.

Halo 3
The highly anticipated video game from Microsoft Corp Halo 3 was released Monday. Game reviewers agreed that Halo 3 is much more realistic and contemporary than the other ones; graphics are so good that you believe you are a Blackwater security guard shooting a bunch of civilians.

Fidel Castro
Fidel Castro appeared in Cuban National Television and said he wants to outlive the Bush Presidency. Bush must feel sympathetic of the old dying man because he is doing anything he can to make that dream come true.