September 13th 2007

Britney Spears
Wednesday, Jayden James, one of Britney Spears’ sons, turned 1 year–old. Before they lit up the candles, Britney lip-synced the Happy Birthday for him.

Jayden was not happy, though. Apparently, he heard Sarah Silverman in rehearsal saying that the biggest mistake he ever made was having Britney as a mom.

Fortunately for Jayden, he doesn't need to go that far to find a clown, and he even got two to choose from: His mom and dad......

Life Expectancy
The life expectancy for Americans is nearly 78 years, the longest in U.S. history. That’s really good news for teenagers, because they might get the chance to see the American troops pulling out of Iraq one day.

Chinese
According to Chinese officials, Chinese cigarette packs will have skulls or diseased lungs printed on them in the latest effort to tackle smoking. No news yet on printing the skulls or diseased organs on the toys they export to America.

Senate
Republicans on Tuesday selected Richard M. Burr of North Carolina to temporarily take Larry E. Craig’s spot as the top Republican on the Veterans’ Affairs Committee. Top Republican? I always thought he was a bottom.

Boy Robot
Hanson Robotics has designed the first boy robot. It didn’t take longer to get tons of buying offers, mostly from the LA and San Diego Catholic Diocese who see this robot as a chance to save tons of money in future settlements.

Hanson Robotics has designed the first boy robot, making today the happiest day in the life of Michael Jackson since the release of “Thriller.”

NASA
It was reported that NASA is giving Google founders a coveted parking place for their private jet. In return every time you google information about NASA astronauts, you get tons of pages saying that they only drink milk.

Rosie O’ Donnell
Rosie O'Donnell said in her latest book that she used to break her own limbs with either a baseball bat or a wooden hanger when she was a child. Fortunately for her, nowadays she has a long line of people that would love to do that for her.

Rosie O’ Donnel and Barbara Walters started a new feud after some comments Rosie made in her latest book. When asked about it, Whoopie said that it’s just a cultural thing.