September 2nd 2007

Tony Snow
White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said he had to quit his job because it doesn’t pay enough to maintain a family and has run out of money. Snow said he’ll go back to working in Fox News where lies are better remunerated.

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow resigned Friday and expected to go back to working pretty soon. He said he need a couple of months of vacation to recover from the dizziness, lightheadedness caused by so much spinning in the White House.

Campaigns
John McCain and Mitt Romney had staff members of their presidential campaigns involved in lewd conduct in public restrooms. Rudi Giuliani doesn’t want any problems so he just castrated all his campaign staffers.

Larry Craig
Senator Larry Craig has hired Michael Vick's lawyer, to represent him in his upcoming legal proceedings. The senator was looking for a lawyer with experience in dog fighting and cock fighting.

Senator Larry Craig has hired Michael Vick's lawyer, to represent him in his upcoming legal proceedings. I don’t think Craig understood the lawyer’s advice because the senator now claims he found Jesus in a stall next to his.

Despite Larry Craig’s resignation as a senator, there is no indication to date that the National Rifle Association will ask the Republican Senator to step down from its board of directors. Apparently the NRA respects someone that has so much love for the pistol.

Bush
In an upcoming book president Bush suggested that after he’s done as a president he will be running what he called "a fantastic Freedom Institute" promoting democracy around the world. Bush said he’s looking forward to being named the president of the institute of Freedom without the hassle of any election.

In an upcoming book president Bush said he cries all the time on God’s shoulder. No wonder Bush’s ratings are so low, apparently God is mad at him because the president keeps wiping his nose with God’s beard.