September 21st 2007

Friday Leftovers..........
Bush
In a press conference Thursday, President Bush tried to assert that Saddam’s brutal rule over Iraq wiped the country clean of potential democratic reformers and said Mandela’s dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the “Mandelas.” The president also said that that is not happening anymore, because the Australian troops of Austria are protecting Iraq.

President Bush said he was talking figuratively when he said Mandela’s dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas. Bush said that he meant potential Mandelas and that’s why Iraq can’t have "Deal or no Deal" shows anymore.

Bad OJ Joke
After O.J. was released from prison he boarded a plane to fly to Miami. Apparently, authorities didn’t want him to board the plane, because, with restrictions on liquids, they couldn’t let O.J. board a plane. (sorry)

GOP
Senate Republicans Wednesday rejected a second attempt to give troops more time at home. Republicans claim that the concept would hurt the troops because Senators know how hard it is to spend more time home with their wives.

Giuliani
During his visit to England, Rudy Giuliani told reporters that he is one of the four or five best known Americans in the world .Unfortunately for Giuliani, most Americans know him only as the hot guy in drag.

During her visit to England, Rudy Giuliani told reporters that he is one of the four or five best known Americans in the world. Unfortunately for Giuliani, he was surpassed by the tasered guy in the video.

Flat
Sherri Shepherd, one co-host of The View, said Monday that she didn’t know if the Earth was flat. If it wasn’t because she isn’t a teen or beautiful, she has the knowledge to be the next Miss Teen South Carolina.

$5 dollar Bill
The United States Treasury's makeup department changed the appearance of the five dollar bill. Apparently, they are making it look more like the one dollar bill, which is more or less what it is worth now.

FedEx
FedEx says the current mortgage crisis is hurting the company. Apparently, people are now forced to live in their dog houses letting all their dogs loose and ready to bite the FedEx carriers.

Rumsfeld
Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s speech at the Wichita Metro Chamber of Commerce in Kansas was canceled after "too many people objected.” It seems people got scared when the security “taser patrol” arrived to town to secure the speech.