March 31st 2008

Nipple Ring
A Texas woman was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane after a handheld detector beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin's chest. If she is going to get new piercings she should consider an American flag, nobody is going to dare ask her to remove the American flag off her chest.

A Texas woman was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane after a handheld detector beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin's chest. Apparently the TSA agent wanted to be sure the boob with the nipple ring wasn’t a grenade.

Bush
President Bush threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Washington Nationals season opener and the inaugural game at Washington's National Ballpark. He was offered to be at the bat but the president was afraid to be near any base.

President Bush told reporters that he practiced all week to throw the first pitch at the Washington Nationals season opener. It is good to know that the booming economy and the peaceful situation in Iraq allow our president to take time off his schedule to do stuff like that.

Superdelegates
Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean urged undecided superdelegates to pick a candidate by July 1st to avoid an irreparable rift at the party's August convention. Apparently Dean is concerned that if the party doesn’t hurry up, there’s not going to be any superdelegate left that is not involved in a sex scandal.

McCain
Republican presidential candidate John McCain is said to be considering Mitt Romney as his vice president. Experts believe it is a very calculated move; it appeals to conservative Republicans and minorities as well, because next to McCain’s complexion, Mitt Romney looks like a black person.

Microsoft
The Toyota Camry that Microsoft sponsored at the Sunday’s race at Martinsville Speedway in Virginia finished 37th. The Microsoft car could have done a lot better, but every time the mechanics wanted to change the tires, the tires wouldn’t work with that version of the car.

Obama
Barack Obama went bowling this weekend during his campaign in Pennsylvania. Wouldn’t it be great if all candidates go bowling so they can sense what it feels to be in other people’s shoes for once?

Barack Obama went bowling this weekend during his campaign in Pennsylvania. More and more of the political gutter.

Barack Obama went bowling this weekend during his campaign in Pennsylvania. He had no strikes, and now Republicans are saying that that’s a sign he’s going to be weak in Iraq.

Public Urination
San Diego City Council candidate John Hartley was booked into County Jail Thursday night after he was caught urinating in a cup and masturbating publicly on the street. The candidate claims he doesn’t dare use public restrooms anymore because he’s afraid Larry Craig is going to hit on him.

San Diego City Council candidate John Hartley was booked into County Jail Thursday night after he was caught urinating in a cup and masturbating publicly on the street. There’s already a video circulating on the web called: One city council and one cup.