March 17th 2008

Iraq
The war is now 5 years-old. When asked about it John McCain said: the kid is so strong that I am sure is going to grow to be a hundred.

The war in Iraq is now 5 years-old. Fortunately for the war, Bush and Cheney are working on getting it another little brother called Iran.

The Red Cross said on Monday that five years after the United States led an invasion of Iraq, millions of people are still deprived of clean water and medical care. The Red Cross was forced to send a second report clarifying that the first report wasn’t about Americans.

Eavesdropping
The House on Friday approved a Democratic bill that would set rules for the government's eavesdropping on phone calls and e-mails inside the United States. Apparently the new bill lets the government eavesdrop on anything except conversations with hookers.

Spitzer
Eliot Spitzer left their home for the first this weekend to walk one his dogs in Central Park. Apparently he owes them; he’s been living in their house since the scandal broke out.

Lawsuit
A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines after a passenger masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair while she was sleeping. Apparently she is blaming the airline for letting the passenger board with a container loaded with more than three oz.

A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines after a passenger masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair while she was sleeping. To what Ashley Alexandra Dupre said” $200, 000 dollars for that? I only got $5000 and I had to sleep with a bald, ugly governor.

CNN
Early Saturday a tornado blew right through CNN news headquarters in Atlanta. Everybody was safe because they were all holding to Larry King’s suspenders.

Glasses
Japanese scientists have invented a pair of intelligent glasses that remembers where people last saw their keys, handbag, iPod or mobile phone. There’s already a cheap version of this invention, it is called being sober.

Hooters
John Persinger turned 100 Wednesday and celebrated with a party at Hooters. It was the first time at Hooters that a client was as old as some of the chicken wings they serve.

Criminals
Law enforcement officials in England want to start taking DNA samples from kids as young as five just in case those kids become criminals in the future. Michael Jackson has already offered himself the get the samples.

Bees
Millions of swarming honey bees are on the loose after a truck carrying crates of the insects flipped over on a California highway. That will give millions of Californians an excuse for those swollen lips they had after the collagen injection.

McCain
Senator John McCain did $1,000-a-plate lunch fundraiser at the 18th century Spencer House in London. Unfortunately for the contributors with $1000 In England the McCain campaign was only able to offer them the plate.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain said on Friday he fears that al Qaeda or another extremist group might attempt spectacular attacks in Iraq to try to tilt the U.S. election against him. So does it mean that if McCain continues in the presidential race and we get attack it is all his fault? Shouldn’t he quit to show he cares about America?