March 6th 2008

McCain
Now that he is the Republican presidential nominee, John McCain’s top priority is to pick a running mate whose presence on the ticket would reassure Americans concerned about McCain's age. The one in the lead so far: a nurse.

Political analysts believe McCain is looking for a female vice president who can reassure Americans she can deal with the war on terror. The one with more chances: Giuliani in drag.

Hillary
Senator Clinton hinted Wednesday that she and Barack Obama could be the Democratic “Dream Ticket.” In that case, Republicans might have a dream ticket in mind too… a ticket to Canada.

Democrats believe that a Hillary/Obama ticket could be great for the 2008 presidential elections. Hollywood couldn’t agree more; they already started the script for “Driving Miss Daisy 2.”

Bush
President Bush said Wednesday that the United States has to "get off oil" to reduce dependence on foreign suppliers, slightly different from Dick Cheney, who “gets off” every time he hears the price of the barrel of oil.

President Bush waited for John McCain at the driveway of the White House. Apparently Bush cannot wait to the get the heck out of there.

During a meeting with John McCain, President Bush praised McCain's strength and his "big heart." Any heart is big if you compare it to Cheney’s.

President Bush phoned the newly-elected president of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev to congratulate him on Sunday. He started congratulating him on Sunday but finished pronouncing his last name Monday.

President Bush did a little dance at the White House driveway while waiting for the arrival of John McCain. Only those followers of the Apollo Theater Show understood why Bush tap danced and screamed “Woo Woo” when McCain showed up.

Air Travelers
Air travelers won't be able to use Denver International Airport's Wi-Fi to visit sites considered "provocative." Travelers didn’t worry: the most provocative site is right there, in the airport restroom.

Daylight Saving
Daylight Saving Time begins this Sunday at 2:00 am. That information goes for all the future presidents that are so concerned with 3 am phone calls at the White House.

Daylight Saving Time begins this Sunday at 2:00 am. I don’t think Bush understands the concept of Daylight saving, because he encouraged Americans not to save but rather spend it.