February 21st 2008

Good day to you all and good day to me because Newsday and Mr. Rasak chose one of my jokes to publish. Thanks to Mr. Rasak and Newsday it definitely made my day. Check it here:
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun215585339feb21,0,3706745.story

Satellite
A missile fired from a Navy cruiser in the Pacific Ocean hit an out-of-control spy satellite falling toward Earth last night, Pentagon officials said. Apparently, it took two attempts; the first one hit another out of control-falling object: Hillary’s campaign.

A missile fired from a Navy cruiser in the Pacific Ocean hit an out-of-control spy satellite falling toward Earth last night, Pentagon officials said. Americans were immediately out of danger and Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, immediately out of the bomb shelter.

McCain
The "New York Times" reported that senator John McCain may have had an adulterous relationship with a lobbyist eight years ago. He immediately got two major endorsements: Viagra and the Democratic Party.

The "New York Times" reported that Senator John McCain may have had an adulterous relationship with a lobbyist eight years ago and that his staffers intervened to protect the senator. Apparently they didn’t want McCain to break his hip.

The "New York Times" reported that senator John McCain may have had an adulterous relationship with a lobbyist eight years ago. Immediately after hearing the news, Huckabee thanked God for the miracle.

SNL
SNL is said to be hosting auditions to find someone that would impersonate Barack Obama. Apparently, the person holding the lead so far is Massachusetts Governor, Deval Patrick.

Ann Coulter
Ann Coulter suffered a serious embarrassment over the weekend when her credit card was declined in Palm Beach in the 10 Items or Less line at the local Publix. Apparently she didn’t have any cash so she had to return a box of “Just for Men,” Old Spice and a vile of Prostatol.

Romney
Before withdrawing from the presidential sweepstakes, Mitt Romney put in at least $42.3 million of his own money. He spent most of the money in hair gel and tanning beds.

Music
A neuroscientist at Helsinki University said that music can speed recovery from debilitating strokes. Just place the CD player blasting Britney’s latest album and see how the patient starts running towards it to turn it off.

Happiness
A new phone survey finds that most Americans feel optimistic about the future. Think about it, who still has a landline and gets polled? Those who have not much time to live…