March 3rd 2008

Obama
On Sunday, a Democrat Congresswoman from Ohio innocently accused the Obama campaign of trying to put a noose around Hillary Clinton's neck. She later apologized and said it was all a misunderstanding; the person trying to put a noose around Hillary’s neck was Bill.

On Sunday, a Democrat Congresswoman from Ohio used the word noose while talking about Barack Obama. Obama’s campaign was confused, they didn’t know if they should accuse her of racism, or of making fun of his middle name, Hussein.

Hillary
Hilary Clinton released a TV ad that says that your vote will decide who answers a 3 am phone call to the White House. You can be sure Hillary will be awake at 3 am, waiting for Bill with rollers in her hair and a rolling pin in her hands.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton disappeared from the campaign trail, and her campaign plane, with no explanation this Saturday as campaign spokesman Doug Hattaway refused to elaborate on the reason or her whereabouts. Apparently, she was seen at a kitchen supply store trying to get more stuff to throw at Obama.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton disappeared from the campaign trail, and her campaign plane, with no explanation this Saturday. Apparently, she left walking hand in hand with her ratings.

Analysts revealed this week that gays are leaving Hillary to support Obama. Not even gays like going down that fast.

Plagiarism
Tomothy Goeglein, a White House official, resigned Friday after admitting to plagiarism. I don’t think the White House got it, because to replace Goeglein, they hired Yahooin!

Semi-Pro
Will Ferrel’s basketball comedy “Semi-Pro” fell short of his previous blockbuster openings according to studio estimates Sunday. The movie did really poorly in Seattle, Milwaukee and New York where they have enough with their own semi professional basketball teams.

McCain
Republican presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain made a huge faux pas when during a speech he called himself a liberal. Actually, that was not the only slip of the tongue he made that day; he also said he wants amnesty, he hates torture and he wants to do raspberries on Vicki Iseman’s breasts.

Lou Dobbs
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lou Dobbs is starting his own radio show Monday. Dobbs says his show will be heard in tons of AM stations across the country, and by AM he means Anti-Mexican.

Ahmadinejad
This week, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad surprised and delighted the whole world when he announced that Iran was the "number one world power." Later reports clarified the statement. He didn’t say Iran was number one; he was just giving us all the middle finger.

Terrorist
The U.S. says it has captured an Iraqi insurgent leader who recruited his own wife to be a suicide bomber. During the interrogation he confessed it was his toughest job, especially when his wife asked if she looked fat in those bombs.