February 27th 2008

Bill Richardson
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson said he would decide this week which of the Democratic candidates he will endorse. Political analysts believe he’ll endorse Hillary Clinton, because we all know Mexicans do the jobs Americans do not want to do.

Florida Blackout
A massive blackout struck Florida on Tuesday, knocking out power to millions of people: A nice way to make new Cubans feel at home.

A massive blackout struck Florida on Tuesday, knocking out power to millions of people. That is not the first time Florida left people without power; ask Al Gore…

Oscars
Several people complained that the academy awards made huge omissions when they showed the “Memoriam montage” in the last ceremony. Apparently, they forgot to include Brad Renfro, Roy Scheider, and Hillary’s campaign.

Hillary
Sarah Silverman’s video “I’m ‘effing’ Matt Damon,” which was an internet sensation, has inspired tons of rip-offs. The latest one circulating on the web is called “I’m ‘effing’ Hillary’s campaign” and it’s done by Bill Clinton.

After struggling for months to dent Sen. Barack Obama's candidacy, the campaign of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton is throwing everything but the kitchen sink to Obama. Apparently they cannot throw the kitchen sink because that’s where Bill has chained Hillary.

McCain
According to a Zogby Poll, Americans chose Denzel Washington to impersonate Obama in a movie, Martha Stewart to impersonate Hillary, and the Crypt Keeper to impersonate McCain.

Mike Huckabee is said to be very frustrated, because McCain is refusing to give him the chance to debate again. According to the McCain’s campaign, they are actually being considerate because they know how hard Huckabee fought to lose weight and cameras usually add 10 lbs or more.

Hugo Chavez
President Hugo Chavez' government is urging companies to avoid English-language business and tech terms. A clear sign he wants to start doing business with California.

LA Mayor
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa on Tuesday signed one of the nation's toughest laws on pet sterilization, requiring most dogs and cats to be spayed or neutered by the time they are 4 months old. Some people in LA think he should start with himself.

Madonna
Madonna has finally announced a name and release date for her upcoming album. It'll be called "Hard Candy" and like her latest albums it’ll be hard to swallow.