March 10th 2008

McCain
Senator John McCain’s campaign said they will release McCain’s medical records to the press in April and probably finish in 2009.

Senator John McCain has been reluctant to disclose his medical records. He knows that if they know his condition, no health insurance would ever dare to cover him.

Hillary
A former adviser to Barack Obama resigned Friday after calling rival Hillary Rodham Clinton "a monster." Apparently, monsters all over the world complained about the comparison.

Barack Obama’s campaing claimed that an image of Barack Obama was darkened in a Hillary’s ad with malice aforethought, by the Clinton campaign, Apparently, Obama’s campaign has decided to retaliate and run an ad with a picture of Hillary without makeup.

Obama
An Iowa Republican congressman said Friday that terrorists would be "dancing in the streets" if Democratic candidate Barack Obama were to win the presidency. Wouldn’t that be much better than if they keep shooting at us?

An Iowa Republican congressman said Friday that terrorists would be "dancing in the streets" if Democratic candidate Barack Obama were to win the presidency. Apparently, Obama’s idea is to pull the troops out and send Bruno and Carrie Ann to deal with the dance war.

Daylight-Saving time
Early Sunday morning, 2 a.m. became 3 a.m. with the arrival of daylight-saving time. That means all the problems in the world will now happen at 4 a.m. instead of 3 a.m.

Men
According to the United Nations, Iceland is the best place for a woman to live. I want my wife to be happy, so I’m already packing her bags.

A survey says most men wouldn't mind if their wives brought home the bigger paycheck. The survey also says that women wouldn’t mind if their husbands brought home a bigger penis.

Men who do housework get more sex, especially if they help the neighbor’s wife when her husband’s gone.

Tony Blair
Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair will teach at Yale next year. Bush is also to spend some time at Yale next year, but just to get wasted at a Frat House

Happiness
British and Australian researchers said on Thursday that you can inherit happiness, especially if you are Bill Gates’ son.

Matt Damon
Matt Damon and his wife Luciana are expecting their second child together, his rep told People late Sunday. Apparently, she was also effing Matt Damon…