March 27th 2008

Belly
According to the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, having a big belly in your 40s can boost your risk of getting Alzheimer's disease. Apparently, men with big bellies tend to forget what their penises look like.

According to the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, having a big belly in your 40s can boost your risk of getting dementia. The study clearly explains why big-bellied white people over 40 will vote for John McCain.

Jawbone
A small piece of jawbone unearthed in a cave in Spain is the oldest known fossil of a human ancestor in Europe. Apparently, the gigantic Jawbone might belong to one of Jay Leno’s ancestors.

A small piece of jawbone unearthed in a cave in Spain is the oldest known fossil of a human ancestor in Europe. Researches later apologized and said it was McCain’s fake denture that he lost during his last trip to Europe.

Democrats
In a latest poll, a solid majority of Democrats, 62%, said they were not ready for either candidate to leave the race. The other 38% of Democrats have a life.

Spitzer, Kwame Kilpatrick, and David Paterson, all recent politicians involved in sex scandals are superdelegates for the Democratic Party. Apparently, that is what makes them Super, the fact that they are able to hide affairs from their wives.

Miss Landmine
Angola is organizing a beauty pageant called “Miss Landmine Survivor” with contestants that have been maimed by landmines. The winner faces Miss Chernobyl in a head to leg competition.

Fish
Scientists are testing a plan to train fish to catch themselves by swimming into a net when they hear a tone that signals feeding time. Actually, scientists play the latest Madonna Album and fish would rather kill themselves than continue listening.

Scientists are testing a plan to train fish to catch themselves by swimming into a net when they hear a tone that signals feeding time. They got the idea from seeing how kids rush to the vending machines every time they hear the bell announcing class recess.

Beard
The World Beard and Moustache Championship officials chose the US as the home for the next competition that will take place on May 23rd, 2009. Now we understand Bill Richardson’s latest look, he’s training for the competition