July 22nd 2008

McCain
John McCain unveiled a TV ad Monday that blames Barack Obama for rising gasoline prices. It seems it was quite effective because today Dick Cheney announced he’s endorsing Obama.

During an interview in ABC John McCain had a gaffe when he talked about the precarious situation of the Iraq/Pakistan border. He explained himself to the media later saying he was talking about the future when during his presidency Iran will be blown off the map so Iraq and Pakistan will share a border.

Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain addressed the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People’s 99th convention Wednesday. He tried hard to relate but it was kind of awkward, especially when he opened his speech by saying "My friends, I like big butts and I cannot lie..."

Obama
Barack Obama showed off his basketball skills in Iraq yesterday when he shot a three-pointer in front of the troops. It was a difficult shot, not only was he far away from the basket but he also had McCain, Bush and Cheney trying to block that shot.

The media reported yesterday that, during his visit to Iraq, Barack Obama shot a three-pointer in front of the troops from way downtown. McCain immediately said thanks to the surge Obama was able to shoot from downtown.

Barack Obama showed off his basketball skills in Iraq yesterday when he shot a three-pointer in front of the troops. I don’t want to say that it was prearranged for a video, but today Obama will be jumping over a moving car.

Barack Obama traveled to Afghanistan this weekend. He was treated like a rockstar by the locals; everybody stopped by and tried to get the New Yorker cartoon autographed.

Church
A person in Illinois saved $80,000 on property taxes by turning his house into a church. Apparently, the man claimed the house felt like a church since he started praying all the time not to lose it to foreclosure.

Tatoo
A doctor is being sued for leaving a temporary tattoo of a red rose on a female patient’s belly, which he claimed he did to make the patient feel better. Apparently, the woman is mad because if the doctor wanted her to feel better, he could have left a new set of boobs.

Spa
There’s a new spa in Alexandria, Virginia where you can have fish eat dead skin off your feet. Or you can always have a cheaper version and soak your feet in the Florida everglades.

There’s a new spa in Alexandria, Virginia where you can have fish eat dead skin off your feet. You have to be sure McCain wasn’t there before your appointment, because those fish get bloated with so much dead skin.

Fire
Two men have been sentenced to prison in California for setting their friend’s crotch on fire. The guy could have died; fortunately, Ryan Seacrest was around to put out the fire.