July 9th 2008

G8
Many people were outraged to find out that during the G8 summit in Japan world leaders sat down to an 18-course gastronomic extravaganza. How can you expect to cut down gas emissions with an 18-course meal?

Many people were outraged to find out that during the G8 summit in Japan, which focus is on the food crisis in the world, leaders sat down to an 18-course gastronomic extravaganza. Some of them defended themselves by saying they understand the food crisis, especially the one they had at the table when the leader of Russia found that the Diced fatty tuna wasn’t fatty enough. That’s a food crisis!

Iran
Presidential candidate John McCain, reacted to a report of rising U.S. cigarette exports to Iran by saying it may be "a way of killing 'em." Apparently, he doesn’t want to bomb Iran anymore, but rather smoke them up.

Presidential candidate John McCain reacted to a report of rising U.S. cigarette exports to Iran by saying it may be "a way of killing 'em." Apparently, Iranian generals are planning to retaliate by sending the U.S. fatty food.

Bush
According to political analysts, a great number of Republicans don’t want president Bush at the GOP convention because it could hurt them. Their plan is to organize the convention at the White House, because Bush is never there.

Studies
The divorce rate in Iraq has soared since the start of the war. Couples are fighting about everything, from who takes the garbage out to who drives the suicide-bombing car.

Swedish researchers said on Tuesday that more 70-year-old women are having good sex more often. And that was only among the cast of Sex and the City.

Swedish researchers said on Tuesday that more 70-year-olds are having good sex more often. The research also said that young people are having less sex though, especially those who caught their grannies doing it...

Bodybuilders
Bodybuilders gathered in Venice Beach, California last week-end to compete for the title of Mr and Mrs. Muscle Beach. The competition drew the biggest audience ever. Apparently, it was the only chance for many to see some oil up close… the one the bodybuilders rub on their bodies.

Dogs
A new study reveals that Chihuahuas are one of the angriest and most aggressive breeds in the world. Apparently, Chihuahuas started to get mad since they lost their jobs as spoke dogs for Taco Bell.

A new study reveals that the dachshunds are the most aggressive dogs in the world. Dog the Bounty Hunter came in close second.

Global warming
California will require new cars to display stickers with their global warming score. I don’t want to say my Hummer scored low, but the sticker doesn’t have a number, it just says Bush.

Obama
According to some reports Barack Obama, 46, has been graying -- and quick -- since the presidential campaign started. “I told you; he’s getting White on his head,” said Nader.

During an interview in Access Hollywood, one of Obama’s daughters said that his father doesn’t like sweet. Who’s "Bitter" now, huh?

Jackass
Jackass star Steve-O told the press he hasn't touched a drug in four months. Apparently, as part of a new act, he doesn’t touch the drugs, he snorts them up his ass.