June 30th 2008

Obama
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama left their differences aside and kissed and hugged on Friday at a meeting in Unity New Hampshire. It wasn’t hard for Hillary, she’s been used to faking kisses and hugs with Bill for years.

Bill and Hillary Clinton have returned the favor to Obama , and donated the maximum to the Illinois senator's campaign, a Clinton spokesperson says. Unfortunately for Obama, Hillary’s check bounced and Bill’s donation was all in 1 dollar bills.

Parade
The 38th annual Gay Pride Parade was held in San Francisco yesterday. It wasn’t as good as the ones in the past; gays don’t look as fit as they used to since they got married.

Question: In a gay married couple, who complaints about the toilet lid?

Iraq
The Iraqi National soccer team loss to Qatar and ended the country's hopes of qualifying for the 2010 World Cup, a clear sign that Iraqis are adopting American values; they now suck at soccer.

Bill Gates
Bill Gates officially retired from Microsoft on Friday. He wanted to spend some time doing drugs, booze and hanging out with prostitutes. Well, that’s the info I got when I used yahoo for more info on his retirement.

Bikes
Washington, D.C. has become the first U.S. city to rent bikes to the public. It is going to be weird to see so many people riding backwards... we all know politicians in DC backpedal all the time.

Alcohol
A person in Florida died at a bar after having 23 shots of vodka. It could have been a bigger tragedy, with all the alcohol he had in his body, he almost killed the paramedic that gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and almost set a building on fire when his body was cremated.

Latinos
Presidential rivals John McCain and Barack Obama both spoke in front of a Hispanic audience this weekend at the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials conference in Washington. Nader also spoke with Latinos. In his case, while waiting to be picked up at Home Depot to do some yard work.

Name
A New Mexico appeals court on Friday ruled against a Los Alamos man who wanted to change his name to a phrase containing a popular four-letter obscenity. The judge said there’s no way they are going to let this person change his name to "Bush."

Model
On Saturday, a 20-year-old Russian model committed suicide by jumping out of her ninth-floor apartment in New York City. It was a windy day so it took her almost 5 hours to reach the floor.

Drugs
The World Anti-Doping Agency is investigating the performance-enhancing qualities of Viagra. They believe those who take Viagra have a 7-inch advantage over the other competitors when crossing the finish line.