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CEO's salaries
According to a study, the average CEO made 262 times more than the average worker. I think it is time we start sneaking in rich illegal immigrants.

North Korea Missile
North Korea has fueled and is ready to test a Taepodong-2 missile with the capacity of reaching the US. Pentagon officials said they are prepared to intercept the Taepodong-2 missile with a condom

It's so hot
This summer has started hotter than ever in the States......

It is so hot out there that thousands of Americans went to the airport to receive the US soccer team that got eliminated in Germany just to enjoy the air conditioner at the airport.

It is so hot that illegal aliens decided to build the wall in the border just to catch some shade.

It is so hot today Patrick Kennedy crashed into an ice cream truck

It is so hot today that Kevin Fetherline finally got up of the couch..... To turn on the fan.

It is so hot today Britney is driving her baby dangling from the window of the car.

It is so hot today that Democrats have proposed a bill to bring the troops back to Alaska.

Recruitment age
The U.S. Army raised its maximum enlistment age to 42 years old. According to the Bush administration increasing the age systematically solves two major problems: we reach the recruiting target for the war in Iraq and if things continue like they are now there, we help the future of the Social Security system.

The U.S. Army raised its maximum enlistment age to 42 years old. If we continue increasing the age, soldiers will have to fight Iraq and arthritis at the same time.

Who are we going to send next to fight: the baby BOOOOM-er generation?
Amnesty to Iraqis

Iraqi Amnesty
The Iraqi government is offering amnesty to prisoners that killed and wounded Americans. I don’t know about you but next time I drive by Home Depot I am going to be extra careful.

Heart Attacks to fired people
According to a study people who had recently been fired from their jobs were TWICE as likely to have heart attacks or strokes than people who were still gainfully employed. Especially when you think of how to tell your wife about it or when you realize you have to go back to live with your parents.