June 28th 2006

Hey thanks to Joe Hickman for publishing some of my jokes on his webpage. It is a great webpage for comedy, check it out www.halife.com
Also, feel free to contact me for ideas, suggestions, comments, or if you have any prediction for Argentina vs Alemania in the world cup. (no jokes about the Natzis in Argentina being confused because they do not know who to root for.....)
pedrobartes@hotmail.com

Flooding in Washington
Devastating flooding in Washington DC brought some of the bad consequences that affected New Orleans after the Hurricane Katrina. The local media reported that looters have invaded Capitol Hill. Oh, wait, they’ve been there all the time…

After a massive flooding caused by several days of rain, some people in the Washington DC area are asking FEMA to step up and help. FEMA authorities claimed they would like to give them the same FEMA cards that were distributed in New Orleans, but congressmen have ALREADY used the tax money on luxurious trips, bottle of champagnes, and Girl Gone Wild Videos.

The Bush administration has decided to act quickly against the flooding that has affected the Washington DC area, and promised the construction of a levee to stop any kind of leaking.


Rush Limbaugh
After Rush Limbaugh’s scandal with the unprescribed Viagra found in his luggage , some people in the media speculated that the famous radio host went to the Dominican Republic for its sex tourism. He denied those allegations and said he traveled there to play golf and took Viagra only to make a hole in one.

Several media pundits attacked radio host Rush Limbaugh for the incident involving unprescribed Viagra. During his cable show, Bill O'Reilly wondered why Limbaugh would need Viagra when you can perfectly please a woman with a loofah.

Celebrities.
The Backstreet Boys have lost a group member. The band announced this past Saturday that Kevin Richardson, the oldest member of the group has left the band. Apparently the decision was taken because lately Kevin was hit on more often by Anna Nicolle Smith than Michael Jackson.

Axl Rose was arrested in Stockholm, Sweden for allegedly biting a security guard in the leg at his hotel. According to the media report not only did Axl lost his dignity but also his fake denture.

Viagra
Scientists have found that Viagra might help people cope better with high altitudes. Now I understand why so many people want to be part of the Mile High Club and have sex on planes.

Snake
Researchers have discovered a venomous species of snake that can change its skin color. Democrats wanted to name it Joe Lieberman.

New York Times
After the New York Times published details of the U.S. bank surveillance program, some congressman became infuriated and told reporters they want the head of the leaker that shared the story with the paper. According to a survey prostate examinations increased 30 percent in only one day.