June 29th 2006

War Against the Media
After the New York Times published details of the U.S. bank surveillance program, the Bush administration has declared war on the press. Things are getting so serious they recommended nobody see "Superman" because Clark Kent works for “The Daily Planet."

Puttin Kisses boy
On a walk through the Kremlin, Russian President Vladimir Putin kissed a boy on his belly, patted his head and walked off through a crowd of astonished tourists. The Russian president was overhead saying to the kid: “you’d better learn to survive without putting much in there."

On a walk through the Kremlin, Russian President Vladimir Putin kissed a boy on his belly, patted his head and walked off through a crowd of astonished tourists. After hearing the news Michael Jackson applied immediately to become a Russian citizen with serious intentions of running for office. The new Jesus juice is made out of vodka.

Star Jones
Star Jones said during a radio interview that Barbara Walter’s statement during “The View" was really hard to digest, not because she said anything new but because everything is hard to digest after her gastric bypass surgery.

Star Jones called Ryan Secrest’s radio show to respond to Barbara Walter after the last episode of "the View". When asked by the media why she chose Secrest to reply to Walters, she answered that she felt like she was talking to her husband

IRS vs Prostitutes
Sen. Charles Grassley wants the IRS to target prostitution. It is going to be hard for the IRS to win this battle because for the first time they are dealing with someone as good as they are at screwing people.

Sen. Charles Grassley wants the IRS to target sex traffickers. If this means prostitutes are going to charge more in no way this story can have a happy ending.

Sen. Charles Grassley wants the IRS to target Pimps and sex traffickers. Immediately after the news, Charlie Sheen and former president Clinton summoned a march to protest against this initiative.

Senator Charles Grassley wants to pass a law that would tax sex traffickers for their earnings. This means that in the near future we will have to pick up most of the prostitutes by the Home Depot.

Rush Limbaugh and the BONER-gate
Rush Limbaugh was detained at the Palm Beach, Florida airport after Viagra prescribed to his doctor was found in his luggage. Isn’t it ironic that someone that made a living hating the BLUE States depends so much on the BLUE pills?

Celebrities
Inspired by multibillionaire Warren Buffet, Asian actor Jackie Chan, says he is going to give half of his fortune to charity when he dies. Apparently the chosen foundation is the English Language which he helped to destroy throughout his career.