August 13th 2006

Terror attack (I know, I know, it looks like a Foxnews headline....)
Right media pundits were invigorated and really eager to tell their listeners that British authorities had foiled a terrorist plot. They were so excited that Rush Limbaugh didn’t even need to take Viagra that day.

According to the British police, terrorist were going to attack planes on the air with some sort of explosive liquids. Experts are not sure yet but they believe the terrorists got the idea from Floid Landis’ urine sample at the tour of France.

Republicans are telling Americans that Democrats are not ready to defend this country, and would not know how to stop a terrorist attack. Senator Kennedy disagreed and said that if there’s someone that knows about liquids and getting bombed that is his family.

A lot of people are quite upset because they can’t take shampoos, water, or deodorants in their carry-on bags. The only ones with a smile at the checking lines at the airports are the French.

Bush
President Bush left his ranch to headline a barbecue that raised money for some Republican candidates. Apparently the president was away for a couple of days so he left the keys of the ranch with his new neighbor Cindy.

President Bush received the news of a foiled terrorist plot while headlining a barbecue to raise money for Republican candidates. Despite the seriousness of the news the president stayed for a little while to finish reading the Ann Coulter book to the Republican donors.

Middel East
Today Israel and Hezbollah welcomed the news of a possible cease fire with one of the heaviest and bloodiest combat of the month-long conflict. According to the U. N. Security Council the cease-fire will take effect this Monday morning unless Israel and Hezbollah run out of ammunition first.

Fidel Castro
There was a total blackout in Cuba the same day Fidel Castro celebrated his birthday. Apparently Fidel borrowed all the candles that light the city for his 80th- birthday cake.

Britney's baby
Britney Spears’ eleven-month-old son took his first steps earlier this week. Apparently the little kid was trying to run away from his mom.

Britney Spears’ eleven-month-old son took his first steps earlier this week. According to Britney the baby started to walk after she had decided to take him for a ride in the car.

Britney and Kevin s’ baby took his first steps earlier this week. Kevin was really proud and said the kid is going to be like the father because the baby walked straight to the couch.