Fidel Castro
Thousands of people streamed into the streets of Miami, dancing and cheering to celebrate the news that Fidel Castro might be terminally ill. Those people were mostly Major league baseball managers who can’t wait to sign new Cuban players.

Millions of Cubans in La Havana waited in line near the place where Fidel Castro has been hospitalized, not to show their love for the communist leader, but rather to get their monthly roll of toilet paper.

Cuban President Fidel Castro is recovering from surgery to stop intestinal bleeding. The cause: years and years of wiping his behind with banana leaves.

Landis
Floyd Landis’ fans said the media is being too hard on the athlete; after all he promised a cup of the Tour of France and he brought one. Unfortunately they are talking about the cup where he had to urinate for the drug test.

Bush
President Bush underwent a physical and was told he gained some pounds. Bush said not to worry because he will sweat them off trying to pronounce the name of the Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah.

President Bush almost fell to the floor while walking off Air Force One. Tony Snow denied rumors that the president was drunk and said Bush just wanted to see where his approval ratings were at.

President Bush finally clarified the G8 Summit incident in which he talked to Tony Blair with his mouth full. According to Bush he was just showing the British Prime Minister the advantage of good dental care.

Mel Gibson
ABC said on Tuesday that it has pulled a miniseries about the Holocaust it was developing with Mel Gibson's production company. When question about it, Mel showed some concern and said America is missing one of the funniest comedies ever.

(Warning) It is so hot in California; Mel Gibson turned the oven on only to cook.

Invisible
A scientist in Scotland says it won't be long before humans can achieve invisibility. Nicole Richie is working hard on it.