July 25th 2006

Myspace
The U.S. Marine Corps is using the Myspace site to recruit new marines. Apparently they have run into some problems because they have been recruiting people based on their profiles and instead of getting males and females aged 18 they are only getting 50 year old horny guys.

The U.S. Marine Corps is using the Myspace site to recruit new marines. I hope they don’t recruit Tom , he is the only friend I got.

Tour of France
Floyd Landis, the winner in the Tour of France thanked the millions of Americans that celebrated his victory this Monday by riding their bicycles. He just didn’t know the price of gas went up again and those were people going to work.

Middle East
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Tuesday the time has come for a new Middle East. The Bush administration is hoping this war destroys the old Middle East and Halliburton is put in charge of building it again.

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice traveled to the middle East to hold meetings with the Lebanese and the Israeli Prime Minister. Apparently she is putting to practice the new Bush’s strategy for world diplomacy and offered massages to both of them.

Katie
Katie Couric, future CBS anchor, told Access Hollywood this week she wouldn’t go to any war zone to cover a conflict. Access Hollywood was forced to clarify that Couric didn’t mean the Middle East but the set of "The View"

Oprah
Oprah Winfrey denied rumors that she and her best friend Gayle King are gay lovers. Unfortunately reporters were quite skeptical as Oprah made those comments during a WNBA game.

Bush
President Bush admitted that this past week was really tough, that he made an incredible amount of errors and understand and support the boos of the people. Unfortunately he was talking about Alex Rodriguez.

It is so hot
It is so hot illegal immigrants are waiting to be picked up in front of an ice cream parlor instead of Home Depot..
It is so hot that Americans are riding North Korean missiles just to hit the water.
It is so hot Christy Brinkley’s husband is giving boats to his mistresses instead of cars.