August 4th 2006

Ford
Ford recalled 1.2 million trucks, sport-utility vehicles and vans. I mean, they recalled the times when they used to sell so many cars.

Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson’s lawyers are doing everything they can to avoid the release of Gibson’s videotape arrest. Apparently they don’t want anybody to see the sobriety test, not because he flunked it but because Mel did the walk and turn procedure with goose-steps and doing the Nazi salute.

It is so hot
It is so hot that even Republicans can’t wait to get to November.
It is so hot Democrats are not cut and running anymore just to avoid the sweat.
It is so hot president Bush went to a Library just for the air conditioning.

Rumsfeld
During a senate hearing, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said that the violence in Iraq tends to decline in winter. He went on to say that from now onwards the US military is going to base the Iraq's strategy on Punxsutawney Phil’s forecasts.

Senator Hillary Clinton excoriated Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld at a Senate hearing. Hillary’s heated, intense verbal attack on Rumsfeld helped to understand two things: Rumsfeld doesn’t know what he is doing and why Bill Clinton would do anything to avoid being home.

The gift of freedom
U.S. Representative Jo Bonner said the reason why the Bush administration didn’t succeed in Iraq was because the U.S. could not make Iraqis accept the gift of freedom. Perhaps if we had given that present wearing Santa outfits and arriving in sleds, instead of soldiers in military outfits, arriving in tanks, things would have gone a little different.

U.S. Representative Jo Bonner said the reason why the Bush administration didn’t succeed in Iraq was because the U.S. could not make Iraqis accept the gift of freedom. I don’t think my grandpa would have sent me to Abu Ghraib to be tortured every time I poked fun at the socks and underwear he got me for Christmas.