August 9th 2006

Bush’s Vacation
President Bush said he was frustrated for the late night jokes about his short reading list for his 10 day vacation. Bush said he doesn’t have time for books while on vacation and he has only taken three books to have something to read to the kids in case of another terrorist attack.

With Bush on vacation, Cindy Sheehan resumed her Iraq War Protest Near the president’s Ranch. Doctors advised her to take it easy, because if she is going to protest every time Bush is on vacation she will have a pretty busy year.

President Bush is heading to his Texas ranch for a 10-day vacation. Bush loves to spend his vacation in the ranch because this is the only time of the year he can run a house.

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton to entertain the American troops. So far the main act features a vodka drinking contest with Hilary.

Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton to entertain the American troops even though the Senator told her it could be too dangerous. Apparently Lindsay is not too worried about it because she knows a lot about being “bombed” and how to handle the “shots.”

Cure of Baldness
Scientists might have bumped into the cure of baldness when with the use of stem cell they grew hair in dead rats. Apparently in the future, bald people won’t have to wear wigs that look like dead squirrels, the wigs will now look like dead rats.

Military Theme Park
The U.S. Army in Fort Belvoir, Virginia is planning to build a military themed park. So far the only problem they’ve had was recruiting workers.

Lieberman
Lieberman After the loss in the primary elections in the Democratic Party, Senator Joseph Lieberman said he is considering CUTTING ties with the Democrats and RUNNING as an independent. Is that the famous CUT and RUN that Republicans talk so much about?

Conjoined
A pair of 4-year-old conjoined-twin girls has been separated after undergoing 16 hours of surgery in Utah. Their parents said the separation meant a better future for the girls because by the time they go to college they will be able to carpool and save lots of money in gas.