August 30th 2006

Journalists
The Two Fox News journalists freed by militants Sunday said they were blindfolded, tied in painful positions and forced at gunpoint to make videos. And that was when they used to work for Bill O’Reilly....

Debate
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has challenged President George W. Bush to a live television debate. During a press conference Tony Snow confessed that the Bush administration fears that our enemies now seem to know our weaknesses.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has challenged President George W. Bush to a live television debate. Some of the big networks said the debate would not be TV friendly because of the need of a translator... to understand what Bush is trying to say.

Outfits
The Morton High School Principal told 128 students to return home because they were wearing what she considered inappropriate outfits. Apparently the students’ clothes were not provocative enough for the teachers.

Germs everywhere.
A recent survey said that steering wheels have more germs than a toilet seat. A no so recent survey said that cell phones have more germs than a toilet seat . So if both the steering wheels and the cell phones have more germs than a toilet seat why do we still compare everything with toilet seats?

A recent survey said that steering wheels have more germs than a toilet seat . Maybe that’s why lots of people need to be drunk to dare drive or drive with their knees.......

According to a study by the University of Arizona the absolute worst place for germs in the workplace are classrooms. That is why teachers prefer to have sex with their students in the car or their homes.

According to a study by the University of Arizona the absolute worst place for germs in the workplace are classrooms. From now onwards students’ excuses will vary from: "sorry a gigantic cockroach ate my homework", to "sorry an enormous rat chewed on my paper"

In other news....
The Olsen twins are selling one of their homes for $4 million. You see, when you are anorexic and don’t eat anything you get to save a lot of money.

Paris Hilton’s new album did very poorly in its first week of sales. Oh well, there it goes her plans of celibacy......
Paris Hilton’s new album did not sell as well as she expected. Her manager advised her to stick to what she does best, videos.

TV host Tucker Carlson said during his show that polygamist and pedophile Warren Steed Jeff should not have been placed on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list because Jeff was not trying to undermine America. Boulder Colorado Officials demanded a DNA sample from Carlson.