August 23rd 2006

Math Award
Grigory Perelman, a Russian mathematician was one of four mathematicians awarded the Fields Medal today for a theory that basically says you cannot transform a doughnut shape into a sphere without ripping it. I disagree, this morning my bowel movement did it; it changed a doughnut into a sphere.

Snakes in a Theater
Two live diamondback rattlesnakes were released in an Arizona movie theater during a showing of the new film "Snakes on a Plane". The owner of the movie theater didn’t want to remove the snakes until they had eaten all the rats that reside there.

Back to Amsterdam
A Northwest Airlines plane was forced to turn back to Amsterdam, but officials gave no further details about it. Apparently the confusion started when someone heard a passenger say there was a bomb in the plane; the passenger had actually said there was a bong in the plane.

McCain
Republican Sen. John McCain faulted the Bush administration for misleading Americans into believing the conflict would be "some kind of day at the beach.” Well, we know who was in charge of building the sandcastles… Halliburton.

Republican Sen. John McCain faulted the Bush administration for misleading Americans into believing the conflict would be "some kind of day at the beach.” Maybe that is why we sent soldiers armed only with sun screen protection, and no helmets, rucksack or gloves.

Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan said he is cool with people downloading music illegally. Of course people that listen to his music have not discovered yet the CD’s, let alone a computer.

Little League World Series
One of the attractions for the Little League World Series is the first baseman for Dhahran, Saudi Arabia, who stands an imposing 6-foot-8. He almost couldn’t play because when Bush heard a 6-foot-8 player playing for Saudi Arabia, he thought they had finally caught Bin Laden and sent officials to hide him until before the elections.