September 10th 2006

Bogus Marriages
The Justice Department announced a major crackdown on sham marriages designed to make illegal immigrants United States Citizens. Apparently they became suspicious of the fake marriages because they were lasting longer than six months.

The Justice Department announced a major crackdown on sham marriages designed to make illegal immigrants United States citizens. They say many illegal aliens are willing to pay cash for a fake marriage. Polygamist Warren Jeff was quite upset about it because he could have been a multi-millionaire if had he have known that before.

Mel Gibson
Air Canada removed an Orthodox Jewish man from a plane Friday for making the other airline passengers nervous. In a later statement, Mel Gibson blamed the Jews for the delays of all the planes in the world.

Bin Laden
Pakistan on Tuesday offered reformed terrorists, including Osama Bin Laden, safe haven in its territory as long as they behave. Bin Laden said that now that he is free to leave the cave, he promised his videos will have much better production and better lighting.

Link
A Senate Intelligence Report didn’t find any link Between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida. Apparently everytime you click the word al-Qaida in Saddam's Website, it takes you to a casino site or a porn site.

Michael Moore
Controversial filmmaker Michael Moore unveiled in the Toronto Film Festival his latest movie "Sicko" in which the filmmaker attacks the U.S. Health Care System and the pharmacy industry. Apparently Moore hates the pharmacy industry because those diet pills he once bought never worked.

In other News
An escaped prisoner accused in the videotaped kidnapping of a lawyer was captured Saturday after authorities swarmed an apartment where he was discovered hiding in a closet, together with Tom Cruise.

Producers of "The View" are really satisfied with the show since the arrival of Rosie O’ Donnell. They say they were sure of the success of the show because of the similarities between Rosie and Star Jones: both talk a lot, both have weight issues and both of them have a gay couple.