September 8th 2006

2Pac
This September 9th is the 10th anniversary of the death of the famous rapper Tupac Shakur. In most of his songs Tupac encouraged people to keep their heads up. Maybe if he didn't keep his head up while he got shot in the car, he would still be among us.

Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton was arrested early Thursday for investigation of driving under the influence. Apparently it took 4 cops to make her stop blowing the tube of the breathalyzer.

Paris Hilton was arrested for drunken driving. She was shocked but quite happy because she said she didn't know she could multitask.

Paris Hilton was arrested early Thursday for investigation of driving under the influence. She agreed to take the breathalyzer test and, allegedly blew a 0.08, which is more or less the number of albums she's sold so far.

After being arrested for drunken-driving, Paris Hilton claimed she had only had one margarita at a charity event. A charity event for Paris Hilton would be to have sex with 20 losers like me.

9/11 movie
Former president Bill Clinton is said to be terribly offended with the producers of the upcoming ABC movie about 9/11; not so much about the fact that the movie claims he didnt want to Kill Osama but because apparently the producers used Rosie O'Donnel to play the role of Monica Lewinsky.

In a letter sent to ABCs executives, Bill Clinton's people claimed that the content of the 9/11 movie is factually inaccurate. Apparently during the movie Hilary doesn't wear pants, only dresses.

Clay Aiken
According to a White House announcement, American Idol runner up, Clay Aiken will be appointed to the Presidents Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. Clay said he is going to start working immediately on President Bush and then continue with the rest of the White House.

According to a White House announcement, American Idol runner up Clay Aiken will be appointed to the Presidents Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. The White house also said they are planning in the near future to appoint Paula Abdul as head of the Health Department.

Cell Phones
Cellular telephones were found inside the rectums of four prisoners in El Salvador's maximum-security prison. You don't even want to know what their fellow inmates were using to dial...