September 12th 2006

Bush
During an interview with TV Host Matt Lauer, President Bush held a copy of People magazine opened to the page with a bare-chested Matt Lauer and joked about it. Thank goodness Bush didn’t do the same in the interview with Karie Couric and brought a picture of her colonoscopy.

During a prime-time address from the Oval Office president Bush called for the unity of the country and added that those who disagree with that statement are terrorists.

Life Expectancy
According to a survey conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health, the District of Columbia had the lowest life expectancy in the U.S, especially for lots of Republicans that will disappear in November.

What a Family
In Australia a woman involved in a failing relationship, stabbed her husband repeatedly, skinned him and used his buttocks to cook food for his children. According to her children, things were not much different than any other day, their father was absent at lunch and her mother’s food tasted like ass.

Mel Gibson
A new CNN poll finds that 45% of Americans blame the Bush administration for the attacks, 41% of Americans blame the Clinton administration for the attacks and 1 person in Malibu blames de Jews.

In other News
Dave Chappelle told an audience at some blues and jazz festival on Sunday that he walked away from $50 million because he doesn’t need the money to be happy. He repeated the same statement on his next 20 presentation and will need to say it 5000 times more to get close to the $50 million.

Singer-TV judge David Hasselhoff, said that princess Diana’s family wanted him to sing at her funeral. He added that he has written a song for the funeral but never released it until now: Jump off the car, before you hit the wall.....

Actor and former WWE wrestler Dwayne Johnson said in an interview that he is tired of being called "The Rock" and would rather be called by his real name now that he is a serious actor. Apparently what he doesn’t know is that reporters used "the Rock" not as his WWE nickname but rather to describe his talent as an actor.