September 21st 2006

Hey I wanna wish my wife Lucy a Happy Birthday!! Love you!!!! She is an inspiration for all my jokes (that did not sound right). Please Jay, David, Jimmy, Conan, if you bump into this page hire me so one day I can buy her something nice (she is not enjoying anymore the Goodwill shopping spree)

Devil
During the U.N. General Assembly, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez said during his speech that the devil had attended that assembly and that it smelled of sulfur. U.S. officials denied Cheney visited the building and denied also the batteries of his Bypass have sulphated.

During the U.N. General Assembly, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez said that the devil had attended that assembly and that it still smelled of sulfur. U.N. officials claimed that indeed the devil had been there but he had left after his wallet was stolen.

During the U.N. General Assembly, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez called president Bush the Devil. He immediately got an offer to write The New York Times editorials.

Most Corrupt
The Center For Responsibility And Ethics In Washington released its second annual survey and Seventeen of the twenty "Most Corrupt" politicians are Republicans. Republicans said they are aware of the problem and claimed they had worked to shrink that number but the Center For Responsibility And Ethics didn't accept any bribes.

The Center For Responsibility And Ethics In Washington released its second annual survey and Seventeen of the twenty "Most Corrupt" politicians are Republicans. Democrats begged Americans to vote for them in the upcoming elections so they can change the situation and add more Democratic names to that list.

Rep. Bob Ney agreed to plead guilty to federal corruption charges but before he gets sentenced he wants to spend some time in rehab to kick his drinking habit. Apparently he became an alcoholic because every time he would hide his bribed money in the fridge, he would be tempted to drink a beer.

Man of the year
Actor Robin Williams will become the president of the United States in an upcoming movie called "Man of the Year". Now we understand why he went to rehab recently, he was studying for his role in the movie.

TV
Fox is running a 30-second television spot with just one static image in an effort to reach viewers who fast forward through ads using digital video recorders like TiVos. Apparently NBC is going to use the same system with its 30 or 60 minutes shows to reach viewers who generally fast forward through the entire program.

Waterboarding
During an interview with Matt Lauer, president Bush denied to answer questions about waterbaording because he said he was afraid that would prepare terrorists. Bush feared that next time they interrogate a terrorist, they might come with a peg on their noses and flippers on their feet.

In a recent interview with people Magazine, singer Clay Aiken refused to answer a question about his sexual orientation. Apparently president Bush is going to use this as an example of why we need waterboarding as an interrogation method.

Ford
Just when you think things couldn't get any worse for Ford Motor CO, the Betty Ford clinic has changed its name to the Betty "Toyota" Clinic.