September 19th 2006

Immigration
House Republicans pushed through legislation Thursday to build 700 miles of fencing in the U.S.-Mexico border. Most people believe this is done to please the conservative bases and it is not a real solution to immigration; not because 700 miles would cover only 30% of the border but rather because they are thinking of building the 700-mile-long fence vertically.

Capitol Hill
The Capitol Hill was shut down after a man crashed his vehicle into a security barricade Monday. According to the police the man thought the devil or some demons were chasing him. Authorities believe he is lying because you don’t escape demons by hiding in hell.

An armed man ran through the hallways of the Capitol after crashing his SUV through a barricade Monday in the worst breach of security on Capitol Hill in the last eight years. Ironically that day president Bush was giving a press conference about how safe America is under his administration.

The Capitol Hill was shut down after a man crashed his vehicle into a security barricade Monday. According to the police the man claimed to have graduated in the Patrick Kennedy academy of driving.

Discovery
Scientists in Indonesia said Monday they had discovered dozens of new species, including a shark that walks on its fins. Apparently they saw the shark chasing an ambulance.

Thong Movie
The mayor of a Nashville suburb allowed a movie crew to film, "Thong Girls 3" in his office. The other 2 previous versions were shot in the Oval Office and starred Clinton and Monica Lewinsky.

Bush
President Bush will try to convince skeptical world leaders to embrace his vision for the Middle East in a speech before the United Nations on Tuesday. He will try any possible method even waterboarding.

Pope
Muslims Nations have demanded that the Pope apologizes for comments he made linking Islam to violence. The Pope said those words didn’t represent his views he was just quoting Bill O’Reilly.

Ford
Things continue to go bad for Ford Motor CO. Apparently the Betty Ford clinic has changed its name to the Betty "Toyota" Clinic.