September 18th 2006

E-Coli
The number of people sickened by an E. coli outbreak traced to tainted spinach rose to 109. Federal officials were shocked about it, not because the bacteria had spread so quickly but because there were 109 people in fat America that ate spinach.

After a reported E. coli outbreak linked to bagged spinach, supermarkets removed all the bags from their from grocery store shelves. Unfortunately nobody noticed it.

Ghost Town
A small community of about 1,000 in Georgia has become little more than a ghost town when federal agents began rounding up illegal immigrants. It is not called a "Ghost Town" for the small number of inhabitants left but rather because most of the remaining people wear white sheets.

Blockbuster
"Gridiron Gang," a movie about a football team of prison convicts, was number one at the box office this weekend. Apparently the longer lines in theaters were in Capitol Hill were politicians wanted to see if they spotted someone they knew in the team.

Immigration
The U.S. House of Representatives on Thursday voted in favor of building a fence along portions of the border with Mexico. According to congress they are going to build the fence using the racist books Buchanan could not sell.

The U.S. House of Representatives on Thursday voted in favor of building a fence along portions of the border with Mexico. It is not clear yet weather the fence is to stop Mexicans from getting in this country or to stop jobs from leaving the country to go to India.

Ford
The Ford Motor Company offered buyouts of up to $140,000 to all 75,000 of Ford's hourly workers in the United States. Unfortunately many employees couldn’t leave the company because their cars would not start.

Hollywood
Actor Bruce willis, a famous GOP contributor firmly denied to be a Republican. President Bush was asked to comment about it and he said " Watcha talkin' about Willis?

Actress- singer Lindsay Lohan was taken to St. Vincent's hospital after fracturing her wrist in two places. Apparently her mom and Hollywood directors are doing anything they can to prevent her from drinking.