April 15th 2007

Taxes
Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne, owe $413,326 in taxes almost $120, 000 less than last year. Apparently this year Cheney finally claimed George as a dependant.

Imus
CBS fired radio host Don Imus from his AM radio station in New York for uttering a racial slur that is used in tons of rap songs. A poll shows that young people were shocked by the dismissal, not because of the racial slur but rather because they didn’t know AM radio still existed.

Radio host Don Imus has been fired from his radio show for making fun of the race and hair of Rutgers’ female basketball team. Shouldn’t we fire then every DJ in America for making fun of Sanjaya’s hair and Indian heritage?

Girls Gone Wild
The millionaire founder of the Girls Gone Wild video empire, Joe Francis, was charged Thursday with bribing a jail guard for a bottle of water. Apparently he wanted to smuggle water to start a wet T-shirt contest among the inmates.

Bees
According to scientists mobile phones and other hi-tech gadgets are causing the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops. Especially those bees that live near Naomi Campbell.

According to scientists radiation given off by mobile phones is causing the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops. We also owe the cell phones the increase on killer bees, normal bees that go postal after other bees turn on their cellphones in the movie theaters.